IT ENTERS MY MIND, THEN IT EXITS MY MOUTH


Without further ado let’s get one thing straight, I am arrogant! Okay? I am not the type that hides his feelings; I’m an upfront person who never holds back. I offend many with this, and thrill so little of them that by the time I look back there are so many broken hearts lying on the ground behind me. Maybe I should explain…

I am in bus sitting behind this girl in jeans, her turn comes to get off and when she bends over, I see her panties, ugly stretch marks and all and it enters my mind “goddamn!!” then it exits my mouth “GODDAMN pull up your jeans, it’s disgusting!!!”  Everybody then looks at me like I have done something wrong. Really? Like you all didn’t think just like me.

I always speak my mind. I found that it allows me to rid myself of thoughts and feelings that can bottle up inside and make me physically and mentally unhealthy. I don’t normally hold back, and I admit sometimes my timing is off but I get so irked sometimes such that when my mind rotates at a fast and careful pace my mouth operates even carelessly faster. Before my mind is done rationalising, my mouth instead takes over. Let me explain..

I am arguing with my girlfriend, it’s so heated, voices are raised, faces are brutal and words are mean. She, always wanting to win, calls me a dog and it enters my mind “me a dog? But..” then it exits my mouth “but you know what they call a female dog right?” she gets even angrier and leaves like I have done something wrong.

Many people say this is my weakness; I like to think of it as my strength. Like some rapper once said, “Some may call it a problem, I call it a gift”. Again, let me explain..

My little sister comes home with her boyfriend and my mother prepares him some food. Are you serious? Do you think this is the states? It enters my mind “get out…” it exits my mouth “get out, if you ever come here again, I’ll kill you”. Now all of the sudden I’m the bad guy, and I’m still the bad guy when a week later he breaks up with her because she won’t sleep with him. Hope I won’t still be the bad guy when I break his nose the next time I see him?

By now you probably get what I’m trying to tell you, that if you’re a fool I’ll tell you to your face that you are a fool. No sugar-coating, I don’t have time for that. Let me explain..

I’m trying to get a passport, been standing on that queue for hours. Then I get to the counter and she tells me I’m on the wrong one. I ask to be allowed to go directly to the right counter and she declines. It enters my mind “This is foolish, no wonder…” it exits my mouth “you’re foolish, no wonder you’ll always just work here!!”. Again they all look at me as though what I just said isn’t floating in their minds. I can see it on their faces but I guess when it enters their minds, it dies there.

To be honest, speaking my mind doesn’t necessarily go as planned. In fact let me explain what happens sometimes..

My mother rudely knocks on my bedroom door and shouts that I get up. It enters my mind “you unbearable woman, I can’t take this ANYMORE!!” but does it exit my mouth? Hell no, apparently that’s where it stops.

 (My Intellect Is Loud And Noisy-MILAN)

 

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