Maybe It’s Just Me


Initially, I’d named this note as “Fragments of Awkwardness“ then I convinced myself the title was cheesy and perhaps a little self righteous. That is, me trying to sound so deep even when there’s no need, trying to show off for nothing. But I thought the title above serves the purpose much better, or maybe it’s just me?

Anyway, the reason for this note, I just want to point out things that I feel are too awkward, uncomfortable or cliché that I suppose we as people should pay notice and reflect on. There are a couple of things I see us doing that are programmed in our minds, hearts, vocabulary that we don’t even understand. A couple of them are these:

The first one is the laugh out loud (lol). My advice is whenever you’re writing messages to me don’t add it. And here is why. When I say something that is presumably funny, it’s up to you to either find the humour in it or not. Meaning if it’s funny to me, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be funny to you too. Saying lol when you poke, tag, write something is just the same as people laughing at their own jokes. It’s just the same as me having a conversation with someone in the middle of the street and busy telling them laugh now, laugh now, laugh now after every little comical thing I say. Therefore, “lol” is pathetic, it makes as little sense as the western world fighting for democracy for Africa and yet they are stuck up indirect dictators in their own countries. Or maybe it’s just me..

The second one is what I like to call the “fools response”. Imagine I am with someone and I bump into you. I then introduce the person I’m with.. my friend this is so and so, so and so this is my friend”. And then what do you say?…often what you say next is what I have a problem with. The messed up phrases “nice to meet you”, “I’ve heard so much about you” and the “it’s a pleasure”. Really? First of all, I don’t think anyone ever means these things; it’s just words at the tip of the tongue. Hell people don’t even understand what the hell they’re saying. What’s nice about meeting someone you don’t know? Someone you may never get to meet again. In fact, is it even a pleasure? And mind you when you tell somebody that you’ve heard so much about them, you’re only calling unwanted attention to yourslef because they’ll be asking, what have you heard? Already you’ve put yourself in the spot, let alone the one introducing you. For me when I’m introduced I never say any of the mentioned phrases. What I say is “okay”, or “whatsup” because that is as real a response to meeting someone as it can get. But then maybe it’s just me. 

The third is the response to the greeting, “how are you” or “bwanji”. Do you know that people don’t even understand this question? How can someone honestly say they are fine, and then two seconds later they tell you they have a headache, a problem, or something else. Personally, I’m upfront when asked and sometimes people are taken aback by this. You find I will tell them, I’m not fine almost all the time because truth be told I have a problem one way or the other so I’m basically never fine. That is, if you’re broke, you’re not fine. You have flu, you’re not fine. Have a headache you’re not fine. Just because you can answer the question doesn’t necessarily mean you’re okay. Does it? I think it’s just as ridiculous as saying “yes” when someone asks you whether you’re sleeping or not. But maybe it’s just me..

In the same line, there is also our famous greeting “Wadyela?”  My answer used to be the Irene one, “sivi oneka” but then I stopped because it turns out there is no proper answer to this question, it’s redundant in itself.

The fourth one is the closed taps at restaurants, bars, hotels, (okay almost everywhere). If you open them to wash your hands and then close them using those same hands then you’ve done nothing. Think about it.. When opening the tap you’ve left your presumed germs on the tap, so when you close the tap you’re getting the same germs you left. Isn’t that true? Or maybe it’s just me..

This one, I picked it up from a friend Kache who pointed out to me the wrongness in asking how ladies are going to go home when they didn’t come with you in the first place. You might say it’s because you’re concerned but according to her it’s irritating to hear you ask. I mean, how do you think the person got where you’re? Do you think they left their places to come and chill with you without planning on how they are going to go back? This is wrong apparently, only when you are going to offer them a lift, which in any case would be useless if they have their own cars or somebody picks them up right. But maybe it’s just her..

Then finally the “like” button on Facebook (and other online social sites). I mean, this is the most abused facility on the net. You find someone is complaining that life is hard and someone goes and likes that status. What is it exactly you like about that, that your friend is having a tough time? I laugh sometimes when I see some of these things, and I often wish they was a counter button to the “like” one, you know, “dislike” because there is so much crap on these sites. Who knows, maybe this is crap too!

(My Intellect is Loud And Noisy- MILAN)

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